What in me has changed in these 9 years?

16th June, 2008 was the day when I was introduced to the world of Meditation by my elder sister, Shaveta Sharma over a phone call. Since then, I have never looked back. It was only after this introduction I grew to my purpose. Some amazing and life transforming learning has happened for me in these 9 years.

I learnt, that :
* Life is all inclusive. Good and Bad are our given definitions.
* Regular Meditation helps us to stay in awareness throughout the day
* Physical and Spiritual Worlds are not different. Bringing our spirituality in the physical world is the best combination.
* ‘Present Moment’ is magic wand that can change things in life
* Trust and Surrender in the divine force are the best ways to unfold magic in life.
* Emotions are like our babies and need to be handled gently and lovingly.
* Our perception of God defines the God. For me now, God is loving, caring and all approving.
* Door to healing opens after acceptance of who and where we are.
* Relationships can be transformed into loving and fulfilling one if we are committed to heal our inner mirror which is creating this experience in the outer world.
* Our Relationship with our body, mind, money and outside world or anything is the reflection of how we feel about ourselves.
* Life is a celebration and needs to be celebrated in its entirety.
* At the end, lesson is always Love

   Grateful   

The Self Absorption Syndrome

(Written for Living Wisdom Newsletter- Published by Life University, Hyderabad)

Mouni, a freelance magazine columnist in her mid-thirties had three breakages before she entered into a marriage with a man of her choice. Even after five years of marriage she feels that her husband is not a perfect partner. She feels that her husband has changed as he would call many times during the day before marriage but now it doesn’t happen. He would buy her gifts often before marriage but now it’s stopped completely. At the dinner table, this is their constant topic of discussion – She says, “Hey! What about me? You have changed. You don’t care for me anymore.”

Ashish, a software professional in his early thirties is a complete party animal. He loves late night parties with his friends and reaches home fully drunk every day. He doesn’t want to marry because he wishes to remain a free bird. He has a dad at home (mother died long back) who waits for him to come on time every single night. He holds his father responsible for not giving him a good childhood. His arrogance and cold behaviour acts like a slow poison for his father. It’s been long they haven’t had a healthy conversation with each other. He says, “Dad! I love myself and I love to be a free bird. I earn well, so I have the full right to spend it the way I like.” Is this really self- love?

On the other hand Sharad couldn’t become a doctor so he pines to see his daughter fulfilling his dream. The daughter is a gifted singer and given a chance, she can give her heart and soul in making singing her fulltime profession. Sharad says, “What I couldn’t do, my daughter will do it for me.”

There’s a common thread between all of them. However, they all seem to be ardent followers of the “Love the Self” rule but something is amiss between each one of them.

How often do we slip out from the zone of “Loving Oneself” justifying what we are doing is actually taking care of the self? How often do we pack our Self-Absorption syndrome into a Self-Love wrapper, pretending nothing is wrong in doing it? How often do we think of the “Poor me syndrome” in the relationship dynamics?

So, what makes a Self-Love (SL) Person different from a Self-Absorbed (SA) Person? Let’s look carefully into the dynamics to understand the finer nuances between the two, a tacit understanding of the fine line that separates them.

Underneath their confident attitude, a SA person carries a fragile self-esteem whereas, a SL person is constantly aligned with his innate truth which says – “I am worthy, we are all worthy, the whole creation is worthy.”

A SA person can’t take criticism constructively. He focuses excessively on his strengths and when it comes to working on his weaknesses, he takes a spin off by saying, “It’s ok to be me. I love myself… you see.” We need to remember that real acceptance of our weaknesses brings courage in us to transform and avoid becoming dormant in our comfort zone. A person in SL gives an ear to any feedback received with a positive bent of mind and genuinely looks into it measuring the pros and cons on the reality scale of 0-10 and acting on it, when required.

A SA person believes in creating a ‘Special’ place for himself in a group whereas a person in SL encourages equality. The whole idea of life for him is to be ordinary because it is within this ordinariness that stems out the potential seed to become extraordinary.

Although a SA person wears an all pleasing mask on the outside, but truthfully he lacks the ability to empathise with others innately. He is so caught up in holding his own space on a certain platform that he is hardly left with the time or ability to empathise with others around him. A SL person has a natural ability to read and respond to others’ feelings & emotions. It is this inherent quality that makes them maintain successful & long term relationships with his associates and others around him.

When hurt, a SA person follows an ‘All Silence Policy’ and gets cold towards the person responsible for hurting his ego. He tries to take revenge by completely ignoring that person. A person in SL works towards finding a positive solution by making a sincere effort to have a face to face meeting with each other and focuses on finding a fair resolution to the problem.

A SA person says, “I am better”. A SL person says, “I am good”.

There’s a Mouni, Ashish, & a Sharad in all of us. We all need to learn to read the fine print in between the lines. Great Masters didn’t say that we become so obsessed with the ‘Love Yourself’ Rule that we forget to hold a space of love for others. People with Self- Love value others as much as they value themselves.

Gautama Buddha said, “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”He made this statement to signal that our worldly relationships mirror our inner world. Therefore, to create a loving world outside, we first need to create a loving space inside. Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you become mute to others’ pain, rather our heart should be wide open to hold the others as equals offering them the space of unconditional love and compassion.

So next time watch out when you cross the thin line between Self-Love and Self-Absorption.

From ‘Zero State’ to ‘Zero Ego’

We often hear about a ‘Zero State of Mind’ or a ‘Zero State Meditation’ where the seeker or meditator reaches to the state of a complete zero. It is that space where everything stays in neutrality. There is no duality unlike our physical world. With continuous practice, we often experience this state in our meditation. But, is it only meant to be experienced in deep meditations? The real purpose of our meditation is to make us aware of our True Nature which is free of judgements and a limiting perspective. I really like one of the sayings in Art and Science of Meditation by Dr. Newton Kondaveti where the co-author, Chitra Jha says our real meditation starts when we are ‘off the mat’. So can we make our life a meditation? Can we free ourselves from our judgements, greed, jealousy etc.? If yes, what do we need to do for it?

Once there was an erudite scientist. After a lot of experimentation, he developed a formula for reproducing himself. With continuous practise, he started to do it so perfectly that it was impossible to tell the reproduction from the original. One day while doing his research, he realized that the Angel of Death was searching for him. In order to remain immortal he reproduced a dozen copies of himself. The reproduction was so meticulous that all of them looked exactly like him. When this Angel of Death came down, he was confused to see thirteen replicas before him. He couldn’t figure out who is the original scientist. But being an expert in human nature, the Angel came up with a clever idea. He said to the scientist addressing all thirteen of them, “Sir, you are a genius to have succeeded in making such a perfect reproduction formula. However, I have discovered a flaw in your work, just a tiny little flaw.” The scientist immediately jumped out and shouted, Impossible! Where is the flaw?” “Right here” said the Angel, as he picked up the scientist from among the reproductions and carried him off.

The whole purpose of the scientist and his formula of reproduction failed as he could not control his pride and lost his life. Our mastery of any level can be put to ashes by only one thing in us…and, it’s our EGO. It is that part in us which continuously criticises & judges, it typifies things into superior or inferior, good or bad, ugly or pretty. In other words, it is our identification with that form which gives rise to a false sense of self. It gets displayed in our thoughts, words and actions. It separates us from our True Self which is Love, Clarity and Oneness.

We need to be aware of our ego which comes in different forms and disguises. Even our spirituality can be an ego if we try to use our personality as a status symbol. Some of the other egos can be:

• People Pleasing Ego which tries to cover up insecurities by constantly pleasing others.
• Judgemental Ego which continuously passes judgement for others.
• Superior Ego which says I am better than you.
• Self-righteous Ego which projects self, nothing less than the virtuous. It puffs-up himself as better than others. It says, I never talk like that to anyone or the meditation that I do is the best.
• Blame Ego puts blame on others and says it’s your fault or it’s my spouse’s fault etc.
• Experience Ego which says I have twenty years of experience and you are a beginner. I know more than you.
• Age Ego which says you have to do what I say because I am older than you.
• Power Ego which separates us from the True Self because of the status we identify with. It says I am an Engineer far successful than a teacher or I am a politician, I have the power to influence people’s life the way I want.
• Money Ego which says I am superior because I have a big house and money in my account or I can influence people’s decision with the power of my money.
• Spiritual Ego which identifies with the sense of pride or feeling of being extra-ordinary. A spiritual ego person might begin to feel as he perceives himself to be attaining what he believes to be important and valuable spiritual knowledge. He forgets that the real spirituality is about being ordinary because it is in that ordinariness our extra-ordinary potential is staying.

Not all Ego is bad. There is something called Positive Ego which helps us to focus on the facts than interpretations. It helps us to maintain a right self-esteem while giving an equal place to others in the creation. Negative Ego says, “I am closer to the Creator because I meditate every day.” Positive Ego says, “We all are divine beings and we all have an equal place in the eyes of the Creator. There is nothing closer or distant from the Creator.”

Amongst these egos, our negative ego displays a few characteristics. Knowing about them can be beneficial to identify our ego deeply in all walks of life. These are:

• Wanting to be right and prove someone else wrong. It focuses on creating separation.
• Being offended and feeling hurt if someone gives you a feedback.
• Feeling possessive of anything-possession of a person or a belief system etc. Here, we resist to change.
• Trying to be someone.
• Comparison with others

How can Negative Ego be dissolved?

We all wish to dissolve ego, but most of us don’t recognise it. So, recognising or accepting ego behaviour in self makes it far easier to dissolve it. We can transcend it by using some of the tools and tips mentioned below:

• Awareness: Once there was a Sufi mystic who goes to a King and asks for a meal. The king shouts at him saying that nobody there knows him. The mystic laughs and says, “Yes, I agree. Nobody knows me here. But I know myself. In your case, everybody knows you. But you don’t know yourself.” The story shares that our ego can be dissolved by being in the awareness of self. So next time, whenever we are in the midst of a strong egoism, let’s allow our awareness to take over. We become aware of our breath, become completely non-judgemental and non-resistant. That very moment, there automatically comes a gap between our thoughts and us. We create freedom from our ego thoughts. By continuous practice of this we will understand that we are much beyond our thoughts and all its identities. We are pure consciousness, a vast intelligence where answers to all our questions is only LOVE.
• Selfless Service: Being in Seva (selfless service) helps us to crush our ego. Inculcating the thoughts to be in seva for the Nature and all the kingdoms of life will definitely take us to the one who needs this seva the most. Even our small gestures in serving others make us flexible and humble. So next time, when some guest comes at your place, don’t call your help to serve water, rather go and bring it yourself for the guest and serve them as if you are serving it to the one whom your love the most.
• Being Open to say Sorry: Let’s not hesitate to say sorry. Statements like, “I am sorry” or “You are right, I am wrong” can break the ice instantly and our relationships can prosper with roots strong, deep inside our hearts.
• Deep Listening: Becoming open to present yourself to listen to others can help us understand others’ perspectives. It helps us to become flexible and look beyond our viewpoints.

It is our own ignorance that make us victim to our ego. We become ignorant of the fact that we all are divine beings and worthy of blossoming to our highest potential. We become ignorant that good and bad, light and dark are tags used in the physical world while in our real world there is no separation as everything stays in One.

Let’s own this truth…Let’s go beyond our ego…let’s make our life beautiful!!

Can you be the 100th Monkey?

(Written by Shubhangi Vashisht and Hitesh Vashisht for The Living Wisdom Newsletter published by Life University, Hyderabad)

The hundredth monkey phenomenon refers to a sudden, unplanned and mysterious soar in consciousness achieved by reaching the ‘critical mass‘ point. In 1952, this phenomenon was first noticed in an experiment started in the Japanese island of Koshima. The scientists were feeding monkeys with sweet potatoes dropped in the sand. In the beginning, the monkeys were very hesitant to try it. Slowly, the monkeys started enjoying the raw taste, but disliked the dirt covering the potatoes. One day, a female monkey named Imo made the potatoes even more enjoyable by washing them in a nearby stream. She then taught this trick to her mother and many started to imitate this method of eating. Soon others followed suit.

It was in the autumn of 1958, that something magical was noticed in the experiment. A certain number of monkeys were washing the sweet potatoes and one more monkey joined and learnt to wash it. By one addition, their art of improvisation was adopted by a group of monkeys living on the nearby island physically distant from Koshima and they also started to wash sweet potatoes before eating! They started doing this even though there was no way for them to observe the physical act. The experiment stated that suppose there were 99 monkeys who were using this technique then the very act when picked up by the 100th monkey, created a field of critical mass which mystically raised the level of understanding of monkeys living on the other island energetically! The number 100 is not a magic number but represents the critical mass.

There is enough food for thought that this experiment gives to us. For a society to follow something they need,a certain set of people (e.g. 99 people) who must first learn it and heartily adopt it. There comes a moment when one more person joining in (the 100th person) creates the critical mass field, which raises the consciousness of masses to adopt similar learning.

What is it that we want the world to learn? Of course, we want something good. Don’t we? Can we be that 100th Monkey (or any monkey) which adds to the strength of the entire group? If yes, how can we? How can we add to the change in this world?

Below are some tips that you can use as an individual to give momentum:

• Be the ONE: The 1st Monkey is as important as the 100th monkey. Had Imo (the female monkey) not taken the initiative to experiment by washing sweet potatoes, this learning wouldn’t have reached others.In fact, every monkey was important for the change to happen. When you think of changing the world, you should start with yourself. It is our Individual Consciousness that gives fuel to the Universal Consciousness.
• Focus on ‘what you want’ than ‘what you don’t want’: Most of the times we keep singing the song of problems in the society wasting our energy thinking what will happen to the nation!! Divert your thoughts and focus on what an ideal world you would like to live in. When in groups, do not discuss with your friends the problems but talk about the solutions. Meditate or visualise on the world that you wish to manifest.
• No blame game: You are not anyone’s responsibility but your own. Take charge of yourself and stop blaming people & situations in life.
• Practice Love, Compassion & Patience: Easier said than done, these powerful words need to be understood to the deepest core. Their application should encompass all the kingdoms of life- Human, Animal, Plant & Mineral.
• Gratitude:It is in the gratefulness of your present that you hold the brightest future for yourself. So, be thankful for what you have.
• Prayer:The power of Prayers can’t go unnoticed, it can move mountains. Use your prayers not for self-interest but for things which can benefit masses. Prayers for universal harmony, peace and joy are the best examples for it.
• Service:Sharing and serving with what you have in abundance is a wonderful way to add to the world. Some people are masters of wealth, so they give to the universe through charity while some are good teachers, and they share the path of awakening. Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela & Isaac Newton served the society in their own ways.
• Walking the Talk: Francis of Assisi said, “It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.” Be the first one to walk your words.
• Be a Responsible Citizen: You can work on small things like not breaking traffic rules, not littering public places, not bribing etc.
• Laugh & Smile:No make-up can brighten the face as a smile can. So, don’t let that curve on your face fade ever. Laugh openly, let your laughter be contagious and create a wave of guffawing wherever you go.

Long time ago, there was a young man who was trying to throw star fishes in the sea one by one that had come to the shore with high tides. A person passing by got amazed by his act and thought of asking him about it. The person said, “What are you doing young man, it is such a futile task. How will it make a difference as there are many fishes lying on the shore?” The young man smiled and picked up one more star fish and threw it in the water. He said, “It just made a difference in the life of that star fish.” Often we stop, thinking that we can’t change the world as it is too big. But the work that moves with our heart and sincerity drenches our loved ones, strangers and then the whole world like a gush of loving water. This is how the changes have come into the world.

Are you ready to make a difference in the world in your own ways? Are you ready to be the 1st or 100th or any monkey in the group of change agents? Are You?

To read the Life University Newsletter, please click http://luglobal.org/living-wisdom-newsletter/march2014/

Feel the Feelings

Do you allow yourself to feel your feelings? When we don’t feel our feelings, we lose touch with the free flowing self.

Kanika is a 25 years old girl who joined us a month back in our Inner Child Workshop. She is a top performer in her office and always rated high for her work. Every time I looked into her eyes, I saw innocence and purity. But there was some sadness that I always sensed around her. She showed her interest to join for the workshop stating that she has started to lose her temper on petty things. And at times, she would not know how to deal with her emotions. She lost her father when she was 10 years. Her mother really had to struggle a lot to raise three children. Kanika, being the eldest of all the siblings showed a paradigm shift in her level of responsibility. Her focus since then was to study hard, earn well and help her family. Whenever she would share anything about her father, her pain of not having father would become very obvious in her eyes. Her grief of losing her loved ones had not been fully felt ever. After meeting with her inner child, we asked her to draw her inner child. And she drew a child who is hiding behind a door (picture 1)

Grief is the healing feeling. We heal naturally if we just allow ourselves to grieve when needed. We asked Kanika, to grieve for the loss of her father. By feeling her feelings, the clouds of grief started to fade and bright light showed its way inside. Today, when I see her, I see a different shine in her eyes. She is much calmer and doesn’t lose her temper. Now, she enjoys sound sleep at night and has started to meditate regularly. It’s wonderful how grieving the pain once and for all has made her so radiant. We asked her to draw her Inner Child again and this time, the child has become complete (picture 2). Look at the shift in the usage of colours that have come in her drawing. The child is seeing you confidently into eyes (pic 2) than who was hiding due to shame, grief and remorse (pic 1).

Be silent for a minute and ask yourself, how am I feeling right now? Whatever the feelings are- pleasant or unpleasant, accept it without any judgment. Say it to yourself, “I accept my feelings, I am at peace with my feelings. I now chose to experience peace in my life.” For you, the shift happens when you feel and accept. 

 

 

Sutras for Harmonious Relationships

“This relationship for me is like a pain in the neck. I would have done better had this person not been there in my life” averred a friend. Lot of words were spoken drenched in the ink of criticism and blame. I quickly wanted to introduce her to some applied and tested tenets in relationship but I gave a patient hearing to all the unsaid words which were stocked inside her. I knew once all pent-up emotions in the form of words are out, she would be receptive to listen to me with all the heart.  

There are many who think the same about relationships in life. And there must be people or situations in our life that give us a hard time. Can we hold on for a second and ask ourselves, “Had this person or situation not been there, would I ever try to find deeper meaning of life?” The answer, most probably is, No! Undoubtedly, for many of us, one of our biggest lessons in life comes from the area of relationships. The truth is that we hold the power to heal our relationships completely. And the most important part is that the power to heal any relationship starts and ends with us. Every single person in our lives is there to help us evolve. Our worst enemies on the Earth plane are best of friends in the Spiritual plane. It is because of them that we learn and evolve. The person that pushes our button the most can be the one who is there to help us learn how to lovingly hold boundaries or examine our own assumptions & beliefs. Our relationships, whether we talk about a friend, mother, father partner, children, lover or society, are governed by some laws, and if we don’t follow them, it weakens our bonding. All these laws have personally helped me in evolving my being. What I was 5 years back and what I am now, I find a lot of difference. Let me share these wonderful laws to harmonise relationships. These laws, if followed, can help us master this bailiwick.

Sutra 1: Our relationships mirror our internal world

Famous author, Herman Hesse said “If you hate a person; that is a part of yourself. What isn’t a part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” It is my inside world which is shown in the form of people around me. The rule is simple, if I have grown beard, I can’t clean the mirror to show me a better face, I need to shave and clean my face first to look better. So, stop to clean the mirror of relationship by asking others to change their behaviour. Once we start to clean the internal world, the mirror will show the same in the world around us.

Sutra 2: All love begins with loving yourself

Loving yourself means giving full acceptance to ourselves the way we are with our positives and negatives. But this doesn’t mean one should start to practice narcissism. It should be blended with the ingredients of compassion and introspection. An ancient Vedic proverb says, “The measure of your enlightenment is your level of comfort with your own paradoxes.” Once we accept our own vulnerable, ambiguous, light and dark potential, we become complete beings. This completeness gives us the best chance to create harmony in relationships by loving and accepting others completely.

Sutra 3: Improving our ‘Ability to Relate’

There is a difference between ‘Relationships’ and ‘Ability to Relate’. When we talk about our relationship with someone, we talk with reference to the past experiences. ‘Ability to Relate’ is based on experiences in the present moment. Every time we meet a person, we start fresh, notwithstanding any experiences from past with the person. To evolve, more than improving our relationships, we need to improve our ‘Ability to Relate’. It is in the present moment that relationships can be healed.

Sutra 4: The World is what you think it is

Everything in relationships starts and ends within. The state, quality and nature of any relationship is defined by us. If we think life is filled with all crooked people, we will encounter the same. And, if we believe that life is beautiful and filled with loving and compassionate people, we will attract the same.

Sutra 5: Freewill

It is a beautiful gift that has been given to the humankind. We all have the ability to act at our own discretion, and this is where our freewill lies. To prove, as you go through the lines of this write-up, you may have two choices, either you believe it and start to practice it or you don’t believe it and continue to stay the way we are. Many of us come across people who crib about their jobs saying it is too demanding. The way out is simple, if we don’t like it, please CHANGE it. It is our choice to stay or not to stay in it. The reason that we don’t change is because we have fear of new. There are actually no confines to our potential, we are free to change our mind about any relationship, or redefine it in any way we choose in order to change our experience of it.

Sutra 6: We are Unique Souls

We all are connected and fragments of the Divine Creator yet we are unique in our own ways. The expression of two persons to a relationship may be different from one another because of their uniqueness. Our relationship starts to tarnish when we force our expression and opinion on the other person. We need to understand that like us, they are also on their journey to express their uniqueness. Let us stop to be pushy and judgmental about others.

Sutra 7: All Power Comes from Within

It is said that the Almighty God is Pure and lives within all of us. If this is true, how can he choose to stay inside us if we are weak, timid and imperfect? We are perfect with all our imperfections. And, our power to change our life resides within us. We are responsible for our self and no one else.

Our evolving relationships are the most obvious barometers of our emotional well-being. All relationships are spiritual experiences. They nurture us, teach us and connect us to the soul of others, and most significantly, to the depth of our very own self. Our state of consciousness shifts to a higher level with our growing understanding, love and acceptance in all the relationships.

Thoughts Inside Me- Part 2

– Blind Love is different from Unconditional Love. In Blind Love, one’s happiness is dependent on significant others. Many couples share blind love with each other. It is so strong that as one leaves the physical plane, the other follows him/ her within a year’s time. There is a silent pledge that all my happiness depends on my loved ones. In Unconditional Love, it is not only loving others but also oneself. Here the silent pledge is to our own self, I deserve to be happier than others. Friends! our happiness is dependent on ourselves and nobody else.

– We all have painful memories in our lives. But many of us completely block those memories in the darkest corner of our being. A corner which we never visit, never look back to. And when anybody asks us about the same we say, “I have come out of it or I have healed it.” But deep in our heart we are still left wounded by the memory. This is not what true healing does. Healing gives us the strength to revisit that memory and bring acceptance to it. Healing brings right perspective of the memory into our being. Then we never fear of revisiting it. It is such that anytime we revisit that memory, we no more feel sadness or pain that we used to feel initially. Moment to moment we bring the intensity of the pain a point down. No Wonder…. “Re-living is Relieving”

– There can be many truths, but Supreme Truth is just one. And that is, HE loves you so much!!

– There is a difference between ‘feeling bad’ and ‘feeling hurt’. Others can make you ‘feel bad’ but can never make you ‘feel hurt’. When you continue to hold on to that ‘bad’ feeling it becomes a ‘hurt’. So unclutch the bad before it becomes your hurt.

– How can we change the world?

• It is your Individual Consciousness (I) that can shift the Collective Consciousness (World). So, stop to change others and start to change yourself from good to better.
• Take your own responsibility, stop to blame others
• Think of ‘What you want’ than ‘What you don’t want’
• Practice Love, Compassion & Patience

Thoughts Inside Me- Part 1

– A Childish attitude is about inculcating the attributes of a child which are present at a child’s body and mind level. But, a Childlike attitude is about inculcating the attributes that are present at Soul level of a child. A Child’s soul is all about Surrender, Faith and Unconditional Love…This is why Jesus said that we need to be childlike to enter the world of God. 

– Many of us ask each other ‘How’s life treating you?’ And we answer, Bas! cut rahi hai aase-taise!!  Be assure of the fact that life is tailor-made to treat us nicely. It’s our own actions that create problems in our evolution. So, instead turn the question and ask ‘How are you treating your life?’

– There is a big difference between gaining ‘Knowledge’ and gaining ‘Wisdom’. Knowledge is a process of learning/  knowing and following. While Wisdom starts where knowledge stops. It’s a process of learning, unlearning and relearning. First you learn from outside and then whatever has been learnt is shed completely. Once this   stage happens, it opens the door for a new understanding to come-in, which is based on real life experiences. So, let’s not just stop by knowing something, let’s analyse and introspect how I experienced/ can experience this in my life. The reason that M.K. Gandhi became Mahatma Gandhi and Siddhartha Gautam became Gautam Buddha lies in rising from knowledge to wisdom ♥

– Do you know why the Leaning Tower of Pisa is called as ‘leaning’? It’s because of its weak foundation. The land from one side was softer than the other which created this tilt in tower. Isn’t this tower talking so much about our relationships? Our years of investment with love, care, compassion, discussion, sharing in any relationship builds this tower, while it can only be strong and straight when the foundation is strong. In relationship, the foundation is nothing but TRUST. More is the element of trust, the longer will the tower stay.

– At times while listening to people about their issues in life, I often hear from them, “How great they’d have done if that incident had not been there”, “How well they’d have done if that person had not come to their life”, “How happy they’d have if such health problem had not come to them”. Sometime thousands of words are spoken focusing how they have been victimized by people & situations. This is the time when I usually put across a pair of my favourite questions which I keep asking to self when in problem. The question is, “Had that problem/ person/ issue not been there, would you be here where you are right now?”, “Had that problem/ person/ issue not been there, would you ever look for deeper meaning in life?” And here comes the silence from the other side. The answer that I receive is “No!”. Sometimes, only by asking these questions to self with our pure intention will bring the healing into us and settle turmoil within. Our life is tailor made friends! And we don’t add anything into it which is less than THE BEST. It is quite possible that the Best may not be Easy or Self-Approved at physical plane but this is the way that lets us grow.

– Many of us knowingly or unknowingly fight with the problem of weight management. We make so much effort to eat less and at times totally abstain ourselves from our favourite food. We create such an issue of our weight that whatever we eat; we eat it with GUILT sending a signal to body that every bite is putting weight on me. Friends! It is very important to notice what energy are we having food with? Whatever we eat, let’s eat it with a positive energy that everything is giving the right amount of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients to the body. Once we start to send right signal to the body, we start to improve.

–  How many times you feel that people misunderstand / blame you for no reason? If such is the case, it is the time to ask a question to yourself, How many times you misunderstand/ blame others for no reason? This question starts to bring lots of insights. Our relationships are mirrors, friends! What a relationship reflects is what you show to the mirror. It is our own energy that starts to reflect, so if I show blame, it will reflect blame and If I show Love, it will reflect Love. The rule is simple, If I have grown beard, I can’t clean the mirror to show me a better picture, I need to shave and clean my face first to look better. So start to clean yourself to look good in the mirror called RELATIONSHIP

21 Ways to Love Yourself Up!

Did you ever find yourself putting so much energy into other people that you don’t find time to love yourself?

By Renee Heigel

Loving Yourself Naked™ is NOT only about feeling great in the skin you’re in, although loving your naked body is a life transforming goal.

Dive into self-love and care.

•Are you someone who has big dreams but you often hide in the shadows because you are afraid to step forward and be in your spotlight?
•Are you frustrated because you don’t know what to eat?
•Do you constantly put yourself last and you rarely make it on your own to-do list?

Maybe you fit into one or more of these categories:

1.You don’t believe it’s possible.
2.You are pissed off and have given up trying.
3.You lack the motivation but still want it.
4.You are intrigued by the idea but you’re sick and tired of feeling bad about yourself, failed diets and your health.
5.You see beauty in yourself but you have unconscious blocks that keep you from owning it.
6.What body? You gave up on that a long time ago.

Maybe you use relationships and food to fill up a void and an empty feeling in your gut.

You can use new ways to fill the void with your most important relationship… the one with YOU. Ironically, loving yourself may feel hard and you may find ways to distract yourself from self-love and care. It may feel easier to fall back into your old patterns and self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. It may even feel unnatural to practice self-love and care at first.

Working on our relationships, especially the one with YOU is a form of primary food.

Primary foods consist of relationships, career, spirituality, and exercise, and unless we have these 4 “foods” in balance the actual meals we put into our mouths will not make a profound difference, at least not long term. As Marianne Williamson says in her book, A Course in Weight Loss, many might feel that overeating or binging on food is an “…indulgence of self but it is actually a profound rejection of self. It’s a moment of self-betrayal and self-punishment.” This is the opposite of a commitment to your well-being. Recommit and show some loving appreciation to YOU.

21 Ways to Love Yourself Up

1. Learn to say no: Many of you feel overwhelmed by the fact you say yes all the time so practice the art of “No” so you can say “Yes” to you.
2. Meditate: Clear a space. Quiet your mind. Breathe. Let your thoughts come up and let them go.
3. Light some candles: Tidy up and light some candles during the day.
4. Enjoy healthy, pleasurable meals: Make a nice veggie dinner that will give you energy and make you feel clean.
5. Journal:  Start with anything, a to-do list or brain dump. See what comes up and out.
6. Dance: Put some music on and move. Close your eyes, move your hips and let go.
7. Sleep in: Pick a day, turn off the alarm and sleep.
8. Take a bath: Be leisurely. Light some candles; use some salts or a gentle scrub on your body.
9. Yoga: Take a class and remember to breathe.
10. Make a vision board: Make one seasonally, if you like… it’s a great way to use old magazines before you recycle them.

11. Use affirmation cards: This is a powerful way to practice expressing your authentic self. “I AM BEAUTIFUL!”
12. Oil rub down: After you’ve bathed and while still in the shower, rub your body down with your favorite oil and as you rub each part focus on how much you appreciate that body part.
13 Cleanse: Eat some cleansing foods, juice some veggies or work with a practitioner to customize your cleanse.
14 Play outside: Go outside and run, act like a child, walk through the woods, swing on a swing.
15 Read a magazine/book: Simply sit and read. No phone. No food. No TV. No distractions.
16 Use your creativity: Create art, arrange photos, paint, draw, decorate, build, etc.
17. Clear the clutter: Cleaning can be therapeutic. Donate. Go through that box you haven’t looked in since you were a child.
18. Get fresh flowers: Bring some flowers into your home and a smile to your face (purchase them or pick your own).
19. Visit a farmer’s market: There is nothing like getting outside, buying fresh food and talking with passionate, smiling people.
20. Nourish yourself with water: Drink a ton of water and breathe gently through your nose between gulps. Relax.
21. Book a session with a practitioner: Acupuncture, Reiki, Chiropractor, massage, pedicure, manicure, health coach, life coach, etc.

Author’s Bio:

Renee Heigel, CHHP, AADP, is an life coach, writer, holistic health and nutrition practitioner, mom, entrepreneur, foodist, speaker, cook, world traveler, media maven, and creator of Love Yourself Naked and Local Nourish Flourish.

Renee trained at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York City, is certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners and has over a decade of experience plus certification in coaching work.

She shows women in their mid-20s to mid-50s how to eat more local, whole foods so they can create long-term health and love themselves naked! She offers private health, life and nutrition coaching, webinars and corporate wellness coaching.

Visit www.reneeheigel.com to find out more

(Adopted from http://www.in5d.com)

The Divine Integration

My hands were itching since morning to write something that makes me feel connected to the journey within. I passed an intention to the Creator and Angels to guide me with the right signals if there are thoughts inside me that are looking for an expression on my notepad. Nothing concrete happened until I opened my cupboard to pick up some stuff and suddenly my eyes got fixed on the Osho Cards deck. Personally, Osho Oracle cards are one of my favourite cards because of the way it mirrors ones true nature. So, I exchanged my energies with the cards in order to be receptive enough to find out what cards want me to ink down…and here I am!! This is what I got!!…INTEGRATION!!

Looking to the picture closely allowed me to notice many symbols. A multi-dimensional crystal, a complete flower, the bright and subtle colours, birds, an association of two faces, the Sun and the waxing Moon, the fire and water, Yin and Yang energies and a snake eating its own tail. The card is one of the important stages in an enlightened being’s journey as it is a beautiful mix of masculine and feminine powers. The card shows many opposites yet everything comes out to be so ONE…no hard feelings, no frictions only INTEGRATION. The picture seems to have integrated the life lessons so well that its sanity is very much visible on the face.

All great masters are an assimilation of masculine and feminine energies. Krishna, for an example, integrated a fine mix of logic (male) and creativity (female). He showcased his masculine energies by being a leader to Arjuna and telling him the ultimate spiritual reality. And when he became the most creative by being a melodious flutist and exchanging his clothes with Radha, he played the feminist energies. In fact his whole life was a DIVINE INTEGRATION and this is what makes him complete. So, INTEGRATION talks about incorporating all roles of life into our being in the right relationship.

This quality of INTEGRATION is not just restricted to the infinite and transcendental souls, rather each one of us carry such energies. Our body has the presence of both Shiva and Shakti energies but normally these energies aren’t noticed much until one begins the journey to within by way of Meditation, Breathwork, Satsanga and many other practises. With Meditation, the energies from the root chakra start moving upward to form a union with the crown chakra. This union drenches the whole beingness in the unconditional love and becoming one with ONE and ALL. So the idea is to be a fine mix of this reason –feeling (masculine -feminine) picture. Once we have found this equilibrium of reason-feeling energies, we have learnt one of our major lessons on this spiritual journey.

I bow to the elements of Shiva and Shakti present in each one of us. Wishing you all a great Union of these elements to become WHOLE…SO BE IT!!